If I hate something with a passion, then it’s all these diet fads that show up and supposedly cure everything from ingrown toenails to cancer and of course Crohn’s and Colitis. I like it even better, if they are advertised by people who claim to have suffered from IBD, and then “cured” themselves by “eating right.” Usually, these people had Crohn’s for less than five years. I wish them well- because their world is going to crumble when they have the next flare, even though they haven’t eaten anything containing gluten!
Yes, that’s the nastiness of IBD. Go ahead and have a food journal, and then burn it up, because on some days you eat one spoon of lentil soup and destroy your friend’s bathroom (yes, this has happened), and the other day you eat a whole bowl of Brussels sprouts and NOTHING happens. I still recommend a food journal, especially in the beginning, after a while it becomes part of your system. You know what you can eat, what you can’t ever even look at, and what might be possible today.
And to be clear: I am all for not stuffing yourself with junk food, cutting out sugars as much as possible and in general, getting as many nutrients as possible, when you have a stomach that won’t absorb them. I am also open to working with herbal supplements (just keep homeopathy away from me, I won’t pay for water). Here are some general guidelines for Crohn’s and nutrition according to the latest research. Again, pretty self-explanatory: try to be moderate, avoid fiber in a flare (who would’ve thought??), try and experiment with milk products (except for cheese, I don’t consume them).
And still, every year, without a fail, someone is trying to convince me to switch to some regimen, that “healed” a friend of a friend’s childhood friend’s nephew’s grandmother. I know that they come from a place of goodwill, but still. Do you really, really think, that the thousands of doctors and researchers are just idiots who have overlooked the magic diet?
Here is the best-of of diets recommended to me:
- Kombucha- not really a diet, but if you wanted to kill me, recommend drinking that stuff every day. Plus, it tastes like sweaty, stinky socks. Prost!
- Paleo Diet- this diet gets me so upset. Just because some Neanderthal may not have had Crohn’s, does not mean this is the ideal diet for me. They also did not get older than 35 and hunted their animals with a spear. You on the other hand, buy industrially butchered meat and need a cheap excuse to stuff it into your face three times a day.
- Separation Diet- separating carbs and proteins. Why again would that help with an inflammatory bowel disease?
- Gluten-Free: Celiac Disease is a serious condition, and I am lucky to not have it. While I think it’s great that there is a wider variety of foods they can eat now, I also think that the current trend of everybody eating gluten-free, diminishes the seriousness of the disease. If you think you have it, get tested at a doctor’s office.
- Luke-warm water. According to some Chinese system, you are either a cold, or a hot person, and depending upon that, you should eat foods that warm your body, or cool it down. Who needs Prednisone and Remicade if all it takes is warm water?!
- Coffee enemas. Yes, you have heard right. I personally have yet to meet someone who has actually had a coffee enema (enemas I have had). How something acidic up your rectum could help you with Crohn’s is still a mystery to me, but maybe I am just thick in the head.
- Veganism, Vegetarianism etc. Now, these are not fads, and they deserve a post in and of itself. You’re trying to do the right thing, or what you think is the right thing, and that is formidable. But please, don’t ever tell me again that I have Crohn’s because I eat meat.