Twelve Days of Crohn’s-Mas

On the first day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me-

An annual colonoscopy.

On the second day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me,

two rounds of steroids and a colonoscopy.

On the third day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me,

Three bloody stools, two rounds of steroids and an annual colonoscopy.

On the fourth day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me-

Four referrals to other doctors, three bloody stools, two rounds of steroids and an annoying, annual colonoscopy.

On the fifth day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me-

Five different patient portals, four referrals to other doctors, three bloody stools, two rounds of steroids, and an aggravating, annoying, annual colonoscopy.

On the sixth day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me-

Six hours on the phone with insurances, five different patient portals, four referrals to other doctors, three bloody stools, two rounds of steroids, and an awful, aggravating, annoying, annual  colonoscopy.

On the seventh day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me-

Seven essential oil reps, six hours on the phone with insurance, five different patient portals, four referrals to other doctors, three bloody stools, two rounds of steroids, and an abominable, awful, aggravating, annoying, annual colonoscopy.

On the eighth day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me-

eight random people’s advice, seven essential oil reps, six hours on the phone with insurance, five different patient portals, four referrals to other doctors, three bloody stools, two rounds of steroids, and an advisable, yet abominable, awful, aggravating, annoying, annual colonoscopy.

On the ninth day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me-

Nine “at least it’s not cancer”’s, eight random people’s advice, seven essential oil reps, six hours on the phone with insurance, five different patient portals, four referrals to other doctors, three bloody stools, two rounds of steroids, and an accursed, advisable, yet abominable, awful, aggravating, annoying, annual colonoscopy.

On the tenth day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me-

Ten unforeseen co-payments, nine “at least it’s not cancer”’s, eight random people’s advice, seven essential oil reps, six hours on the phone with insurance, five different patient portals, four referrals to other doctors, three bloody stools, two rounds of steroids, and an anguishing, accursed, advisable, yet abominable, awful, aggravating, annoying, annual colonoscopy.

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me-

Eleven allergic reactions to medications,  ten unforeseen co-payments, nine “at least it’s not cancer”’s, eight random people’s advice, seven essential oil reps, six hours on the phone with insurance, five different online patient portals, four referrals to other doctors, three bloody stools, two rounds of steroids, and an anguishing, accursed, advisable, yet abominable, awful, aggravating, annoying, annual colonoscopy.

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my Crohn’s gave to me-

Twelve new prescriptions, eleven allergic reactions to medications, ten unforeseen co-payments, nine “at least it’s not cancer”’s, eight random people’s advice, seven essential oil reps, six hours on the phone with insurance, five different online patient portals, four referrals to other doctors, three bloody stools, two rounds of steroids, and an appalling, anguishing, accursed, advisable, yet abominable, awful, aggravating, annoying, annual colonoscopy.

Happy Holidays all!

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